it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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