I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
ok first of all what the fuck
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
