i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
