Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
