I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
