So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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