i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just had sex on a roof
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
