Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
