were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
