Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
