drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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