dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
