Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
