and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
