this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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