Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
