OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
