Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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