is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
