Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
