I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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