neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
