Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
