He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
