why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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