so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
