I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It's official drugs can't kill me
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
