When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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