that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just puked most of my soul out..
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
