You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
