Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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