ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
