Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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