I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
