just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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