I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
