On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
