So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
