I'm going to jail i love you
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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