Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
