I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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