I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
