do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
