I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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