The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My bed smells like the plague
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
