I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
