ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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