I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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