Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
