Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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