lets start a swedish sibling band together
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
