C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
