what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
